Update-an Status Lucu-lucu

By | Desember 20, 2010

Kumpulan update status lucu, gokil, unik, fresh, kreatif.  menjadikan status jadi update….

 

What is your mind?
Apa yang anda pikirkan?

Masih bingung..? bosen dengan update-an status FB kaya itu-itu aja…?
Lagi minim inspirasi.., atau lagi cari sesuatu yang berbeda…?
Ketik aja 1+1=9, tunggu sebentar dan komentarpun akan bermunculan….hkk.
Atau coba dengan sesuatu yang segar nan baru  [menjelang hari Natal], seperti ini :”Nu dan Muhammadiyah telah sepakat dan menetapkan bahwa hari Natal jatuh pada tanggal 25 Desember….. “.

Di bawah ini, merupaka kumpulan update status yang lucu, kocak,dan menghibur hasil dari  surfing-googling sampai tertahan di situs kaskus.

“Lucu gan….Kocak abis…Jadi guling-guling sendiri….Ketawa jungkir balik… Kasih cendol ya gan…..”
 Ini komentar agan-agan Kaskuser.

Akhirnya saiia coba mengumpukan dan menjadikan postingan dari aneka Update-an status yang terbilang fresh nan unik, sedikit liar namun cukup kreatip, bisa membuat tertawa dan pastinya jadi ngakak….hk..hk.

Update-an status ini tidak terbatas untuk kaskuser, facebooker, twitter, atau jejaring sosial lainnya, namun cocok juga untuk sms-an, iseng-iseng di sebuah forum atau lagi chating, chating sama malaikat pencabut nyawa…hk..hk..hk.

Oh iya, sekali lagi saya infokan bahwa sebagian besar dari kumpulan Update status yang lucu-lucu dibawah ini, diambil dari situs kaskus

Selamat membaca dan menahan tawa

Update status lucu dan unik:
 
Ada 3 cinta yg takkan habis.
1. Cinta Tuhan pd umatnya
2. Cinta ortu pd anknya
3. Cinta fitri


Apa perbedaan bulan madu pertama dan bulan madu kedua?
Kalau bulan madu pertama istrinya yang teriak “Haaaa… besar banget!”
Kalau bulan madu kedua suaminya yang teriak “Haaa… besar banget!”

Setiap saya datang ke acara pernikahan, pasti orang tua tanya “kapan nyusul?”
makanya pas di acara pemakaman giliran saya yang tanya “kapan nyusul?”


Kamu tu manusia ato vibrator si? setiap deket kmu,hatiku brgetar-getar gitu…


St 12 punya “ISABELLA”,9 band punya “HAFIZAH”,Five minutes pnya “AISYAH”Irwansyah punya “CAMELIA”Kangen band pny “YOLANDA”…Tpi cuma Wali yg lagi sibuk “CARI JODOH”


Tahukah anda kalau RSSSSSSS adalah Rumah Sempit Sangat Sederhana Sekali Sehingga Sulit Senggama


Orang pintar minum tolak angin, orang bodoh minum minyak angin.


BERTAHAN SATU TINJA,,
BERTAHAN SATU T.I.N.J.A,,


Cinta itu mengerti , mengerti itu understand . Under itu di bawah . Stand itu berdiri . Jadi cinta mengerti kalo yang di bawah udah berdiri.

Wiwiting tresno jalaran ra ono liyo

Kalau tokek tahu apa yg namanya cinta, dia pasti berbunyi: “LOPE LOPE LOPE

Wanita cantik, bukan menjadi jaminan kehidupan kita jadi
menyenangkan!!!! Apalagi yang jelek….!!! hahahahahaha

Kalau negara sangat aman …. kasihan polisi

Sesungguhnya penyebab sakit gigi & hamil adalah sama. Terlambat dicabut.


Didalam pantat yang sehat terdapat kentut yang kuat.

Masyarakat yang selalu sehat bisa mengakibatkan dokter sakit …

Aku percaya bahwa do’a ibu itu mujarab karena ibuku pernah berkata:
“sewaktu mengandungku ibu selalu berdo’a agar diberikan anak yang ganteng”

Sesungguhnya aku pengen ngerasain keluar masuk surga bersamamu….

Sampai kapanpun Q tkn pernah berubah,karna Q bukanlh “POWER RANGER....”

Malu itu sebagian dari iman, artinya kemaluan si iman cuman sebagian…

Sepintar-pintarnya nyimpen daging,pasti akan busuk juga..
dan sepinter pinternya nyimpen istri muda pasti bakal tua juga.

Waktu lahir, Tuhan memberikan aku 2 pilihan :
ingatan yang bagus atau wajah yang tampan, (tapi aku sudah lupa pilih yang mana….)

Keboku ada 5….. rupa2 warnanya…. hijau, kuning kelabu… merahmuda dan
biru…. keboku hilang empat… door… hatiku sangat kacau… keboku tinggal
satu.. mukanya kayak kamu…

Jomblo bukan berarti gak laku, tapi karena belum ada yang mau..

“Tak ada rotan, akar pun jadi. Gak boleh pacaran? Ngelamar pun jadi.”

“Istri Banting tulang…suami Banting kartu”

… … … … … … … … .„–~–„
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… … … … … … … .|;.;.;.;.;.;/
… … … … ._„„„„„„„_.);.;.;.;.;.|…
… … … „-“:.:.:.:.:.:.”~-„;.;.;.;|…
… … .. (_„„„„„„—„„_:.:.:;.;.;..”„
… … „-“:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:””-„/;.;.;.;.;.”„
… .. (:.___„„„„„„„„„___);.;.;.;.;.;.;.|
… .. /””:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:¯””\;.;.;.;.;.;.„”
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… .. \.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.);;;;;;;;;;/:::\
… … . \„„„„—~~~;;;;;;;;;;;;;„”:::::::\
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like thiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssss. . . . . .

Tips mengatasi pacar yang cerewet :
1 ) pegang tangannya
2 ) lihat matanya dalam-dalam…
3 ) kecup keningnya
4 ) dan bisikan di telinganya :
” TAK SOBEK-SOBEK BIBIRMU..”

BU GURU : ” karjo.., ko’ kertas gambarnya msh kosong, mana hasil gambarnya ?”
KARJO : “lah ini sih bu, karjo sudah bikin gambar”
BU GURU : “emang km bikin gambar apa?”
KARJO : ” gambar kambing lg makan rumput”
BU GURU : “trus mana rumputnya”…
KARJO : “bu guru gimana sih,ya udah habis lah di makan kambing”
BU GURU : “lalu kambingnya mana?”
KARJO : “kambingnya kabur, ibu sih berisik”

Dosen bertanya pada Joko, mahasiswa yang paling kurus dan paling suka ngintip.
Dosen : “Hei..Joko abis kuliah kerjanya dirumah apa sih?”
Joko : “Ya..habis makan, tidur Pak!!,Ya biasalah Pak anak Kost !!”
Dosen : “Lah itukan senang dong, tapi kamu kok kurus ..??”
Joko : “Ya…gimanalah Pak, yang masuk Supermi …eh tau-taunya yang keluar Sperma, gimana mau gemuk…

“Buat apa cewek pake berpakaian cantik dan berdandan untuk menarik cowok?
padahal cowok lebih suka cewek yang nggak pake apa-apa”

“Guru Kencing Berdiri, Murid Kencing Berlari… Cewek Kencingnya Jongkok, Yang Lain Pada Nengok…”

Gara gara nila setitik,. Rusak susu sebelanga… Gara gara si nona cantik… Lupa mulutku menganga

“Aku memanggilmu Ratu, karena aku pikir bahwa akulah Rajamu”

Pelanggan Yth. Masa aktif hidup anda akan segera habis, saldo dosa anda
sudah melewati batas. Segera isi ulang iman anda di rumah ibadah
terdekat sebelum nyawa anda di blokir.

“Cinta tak harus memiliki”, teorinya sih gitu..Maka kupisahkan aja dia dari kekasihnya.

Karena nila setitik rusak susu sebelahnya…

Sial.. aku lupa akun password Facebooku” ( klo lupa kok bisa update status ya?
Masa depanmu tergantung pada mimpiku, mari kita tidur.

Tau Gak?! BMG : Badan Meteorologi Geofisika, berubah nama jadi OMG setelah menatap paras secerah kamu

Puluhan siswa-siswi terlibat baku tembak di lapangan sebuah SMA. Mereka saling menyatakan cinta

Update-an status yang sok romantic tapi tetap unik:

Cinta dimulai Adam&Hawa,diteruskan Rama&Sinta,dibawa mati Romeo&Juliet, dan dihidupkan kembali oleh Aku & Kamu …

Sepasang rel jatuh cinta, mereka selalu bersama. Tapi sepasang rel itu sadar, mereka tak mungkin bersatu.

Ketika hidup memberi seratus alasan untuk menangis,
Kau datang membawa seribu alasan untuk tersenyum.

Kamu seperti “spasi”, kosong tapi penting.

Ingin ku memelukmu dengan hangat saat ini juga, membelai dengan lembut
wajahmu, menggenggam erat tanganmu, mengecup keningmu, menyentuhkan
bibirku ditelingamu sambil berbisik, inalilahi wainalilahi rojiun.

“Mukamu imut, tangan mu halus, kakimu sexy, badanmu . . . Kekar”

Perjuanganku seperti Mario Bros, harus bantai naga dan monster kura2 buat dapet Tuan Putri

“Dekat denganmu, aku keringetan. Jauh darimu, aku keingetan”

Aku udah pernah jatuh dari jembatan, aku juga udah pernah jatuh dari tangga. semuanya ngga enak. tapi ada satu jatuh yang paling enak, yaitu jatuh cinta sama kamu…

Kalo kaca bisa pecah..kayu juga bisa patah…..tapi cinta pada kamu….kan abadi sampai mati

Waktu petugas sensus ke rumahku, dia cuma menghitung 4 orang di keluargaku,
dia gaktau kalo sebenernya ada kamu di hatiku (jadi ada 5 deh ).


Bukan titik yang menyebabkan tinta, tapi tinta yang menyebabkan titik.
bukan karena kamu cantik yg menyebabkan aku cinta , tapi karena aku cinta, kamu terlihat cantik.

“Kamu kaya oreo, item tapi manis.”

“Cintaku padamu seperti harga BBM dan tarif listrik, gak akan pernah turun, malah selalu naik”

“Kamu cantik banget ya, sampe Burung Garuda PANCASILA noleh ke kiri pas kamu lewat”

“Bedanya kamu sama rumus? Rumus susah diingat, kamu susah dilupain…. iya…kamu…”
Tadi malam aku kirim bidadari untuk menjaga tidurmu. Eh, dia buru-buru balik. Katanya, ‘Ah, masa bidadari disuruh jaga bidadari.

Gara-gara kamu aku jadi sering sakit….
sakaw = sakit akibat engkaw
kuman = kamu membuatku naksir
mikroba = mikirin kamu rasanya oenak bangets
flu = feeling love you
TBC = tekanan batin cinta
batuk = batin ku hanya untukmu
SARS = sakit akibat rasa sayang

“Cintaku ke kamu kan cuma stengah-stengah. Ya kira2 setengah mati gitu deh.”

Dulu delman…, sekarang dokar
Dulu teman…, sekarang pacar

E = m.c^2. (engkau = manis . Cantik emang “kodrat” mu.)
Aku dilahirkan bukan untuk menyakitimu tapi aku dilahirkan untuk membuatmu ngga bahagia…

“Biarpun kamu CONTINUE sama mantan kamu, aku gak mau GAME OVER dan tetep harus LEVEL UP!”

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I remember with all the togetherness that we’ve spent together, the promise we have ever said tuk mutual devotion, understanding, understanding and confidence.
though waiting so would mean not my taste and flavor you will never die…
╔╗╔╗═══════╔╗╔╗
║║║║╔═╦╦╦═╗║║║║
║║║╚╣║║║║╩╣║╚╝║
╚╝╚═╩═╩═╩═╝╚══╝
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…………………..♥ dawn.

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flower

[email protected][email protected] @_____
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[email protected]@[email protected][email protected][email protected]_____
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fire heart

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kiss for you

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beatiful

………..///\\\You
……….///_\\\\are
………||.^|=\\\ Beautiful
………))\_-_/ ((\ Intelligent
………)’_/.”.\_`\) Smart
……././._.\…/…\ Sincere
……/./(_.\x/._).| Kind
……\.\.)”.|.”(/./ Adorable
…….\.’…’.. //./ Ideal
……/………/./ Naughty
……|….__.\.\ Attractive
……|…/.\…\/ Sweet
……|..|…\.. \ Cute
……|..|…..\..\ Unique
……|..|……\..\ lovable
……|..|…….\..\ Understanding
……|..|……..\..\ & a Very Very
……|..|………\..\ GOOD friend of mine 😉
…../__\……….|__\

guitar

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,####
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,####
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,####
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,####
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,###
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,##
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,##
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,##
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,##
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,##
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,##
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,##
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,##
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,##
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,##
,,,,,,,,##,,,,,##,,,,,,,,##
,,,,,,,##,,,,,###,,,,,,,,##
,,,,,,,#############
,,,,,,,############
,,,,,,,,###########
,,,,,,,,,###########
,,,,,,,#############
,,,,################
,,##################
######the best Rock #####
,###################
,,#######::::::::#######
,,,#################
,,,,,,##############
,,,,,,,,,,,#########

rabbit

_**___**_______**___****
_**__**_______*___**___**
__**__*______*__**__***__**
___**__*____*__**_____**__*
____**_**__**_**________**
____**___**__**
___*___________*
__*_____________*
_*____0_____0____*
_*[email protected]_______*
_*_______________*
___*_____v_____*
_____**_____*
____(´*•.¸ (´*•.¸ ¸.•*´) ¸.•* )____
_..::¨´•.¸ * Love ya!!! *¸.•´¨::.._
______.(¸.•*afs;.•*´ ´*•.¸)*•.¸)____

bear

—————————————-
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▒█▓▓▓▓█▓▒█▓WELCOME█▒▒▓▓█▓▓▓▓█
█▓██▓▓█▓▒▒█Izy Quiet ▓█▒▓█▓▓██▓█
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flower

………………….;_’.-._
…………………{`–♥.-.’}
……………….{;..\,__…-‘/}
….._.;_’.-._ …{..’-`.♥_;..-‘;
…{`–.♥-.’_,}…`’–.._..-‘ ….._.;_’.-._
.{;..\,__…-‘/}…._.;_’.-._ …{`–.♥-.’_,}
.{..’-`.._;..-‘;.{`–.♥-.’_,}.{;..\,__.. .-‘/}
….`’–.._..-‘.{;..\,__…-‘/.{..’-`.._ ;..-}
……..,–\\..,-“…`’–.._..- …..–.._..-
…… ….._.;_’.-._….. ||……//
……….{`–.♥-.’_,}.,-“-…..//.,-“-. .
……..{;..\,__…-‘/….’-.\.// (..’-…\
………..{..’-`.._;..-‘. ,/. // ;—,
……../….-‘.)\\……… /.,-“-….\
……..\,—‘`…\\…….//. (..’-…..\
…………………\\ ..//
………………/_\\Y//_\
……………..(_,-}={-,_)
…………… ….\_//((\_/
…………………//))(\
………………..(/..))

smile

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

^^^^^^^^#####################^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^#######^^^^^^^^^^^^######^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^#####^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^######^^^^^^ ^^^^####^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^#####^^^^^ ^^^####^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^#####^^^^ ^^####^^^^^####^^^^^^^^####^^^^^###^^^^ ^^###^^^^^######^^^^^^######^^^^####^^^ ^####^^^^^######^^^^^^######^^^^^###^^^ ^###^^^^^^^####^^^^^^^^####^^^^^^####^^ ^###^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^###^^ ^###^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^###^^ ^###^^^^##^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^##^^^^^###^^ ^###^^^^###^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^##^^^^####^^ ^####^^^^###^^^^^^^^^^^^^^###^^^^###^^^ ^^###^^^^####^^^^^^^^^^^####^^^^####^^^ ^^####^^^^######^^^^^######^^^^^###^^^^ ^^^####^^^^###############^^^^#####^^^^ ^^^^####^^^^^###########^^^^^#####^^^^^ ^^^^^#####^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^######^^^^^^ ^^^^^^#########################^^^^^^^^
ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ

`
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

rose

●•●••●ılı.lı.ılı.lıılıı♥♥♥♥ılıı.ılı.lı.lı.ılı●•●

……… ) ` – . .> ‘ `( ……
…….. / . . . .`\ . . \ …….
…….. |. . . . . |. . .| ……
……… \ . . . ./ . ./ ……..
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……… >_.-`Y| ………….
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……………. \|| ………….
…………….. || ………….
…………….. || ………….
…………….. |/ ………….

peace

—-/¯/)——-/¯/)
—/¯ -/——/¯ -/
–/- – /——/- – /
-/–/´¯//´¯//´¯-/`•
/´¯/– /—// —/¨¯\
(‘-(—(´–(´ -¯ /’–)
-\————-‘—./
–\————–.•´
—\———— /

tweety

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´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶´´¶
´´´´´¶¶¶´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´¶ JUST SO U KNOW I WAS
´´´´´´´´ ¶¶¶´´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´¶¶ HERE TO SAY : “HELLO!”
´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶´
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black cat

………………………………..*…………………………….
““=#x“““““`+,“““*“““““““““““
““=##“““““##,“““*“““““““““““
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““`#############““`*““““`xX“““““`
““`############.““`*““““`##“““““`
““`;###########=““*“““`=xX###“““““
“““X#########X““*“ #X #######X““““`
““““.x######x““*“`. ########## ““““
“““““X#####““`*“““`x########=““““
““““`,##### “““*“““,####### ““““`
““““`-######“““*““““######,“““““
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““““`#######x“““*“““““`,###.““““`
““““;########,“““`*““““`,### ““““`
““““x#########.““`==*“““`;####““““`
“““-###########.“####==,““=####x““““
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““################,““#x“#########,““`
“` #################“ #` ###########.“`
“`###################;#; #############“
“`################ ### #############x“`
“`X###############-x##=`#############.“`
““###############xX# #=x###########X““
““=##########x##X##.“- #

girl

(▒)(▒)_______███☼███____(▒)(▒)
(▒)(█)(▒)__ ███_☼██████
_(▒)(▒)___██____████████
_________██____███▒▒▄▒▒
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___________██____ █▒▒▒♥___(▒)(▒)
____________██_____▒▒____(▒)(█)(▒)
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_____________██__▓▓▒▓_______█
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__________ ▓▓___▓▓▓▓__▓▓__█
_________ ▓▓___███☼█__▓▓__█
___♥▒▒♥▒♥▒♥▒♥▒♥▒♥▒♥ __▓▓_█
___ ♥▒♥▒▒♥▒♥▒♥▒♥▒▒♥▒♥__▒▒▒
____ ♥▒♥▒▒♥▒♥▒♥▒▒♥▒▒♥▒____█
______ ♥▒▒♥▒♥▒♥▒♥▒♥▒▒♥▒♥__█
________ ♥▒▒♥▒▒♥▒♥▒▒♥▒▒♥▒♥
___________♥▒♥▒▒♥▒▒♥▒▒♥▒▒♥▒
_______________▓▓_▓▓
_(▒)(▒)_________▓▓_▓▓
(▒)(█)(▒)_______▓▓_▓▓
_(▒)(▒)_________▓▓_▓▓
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_______________▓▓▓
______█████████
________██____██
______█☼█____██
______█_______██
______________█☼█
______________██__█▄

Gun

…….____, , ________________
……/ `—___________—-_____|]==Izy Quiet
…../_==o; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _______.:/
…..), —.(_(__) /
….// (..) ), —-”

guitar

——————_____——–▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
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——————||||||||——–▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
——————||||||||——–▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
——————||||||||——–▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
——————||||||||——–▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
——–__——-||||||||——–▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
—–/____\—–||||||||——/___\▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
—/______\___||||||||—–/_____\▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
—-\_______\–||||||||—/______/▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
——\_______\||||||||-/______/▀▄▀ MUISC …….▄▀
——-\_______||||||||______/▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
——–\______||||||||______\ MUISC 4 IZY ▀▄
——–/_____●||||||||●______\▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
——/_____●_||||||||__●______\▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
—-/_____●___||||||||___●_______\▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
–/______●___||||||||___●________\▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄
-/________●__||||||||__●__________\▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄
-|__________●||||||||●____________/▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄
-\___________||||||||____________/▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄
–\______ MUISC _______/▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄
—\____________________/▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄
—-\_________/▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄
——\______/▄▀▄▀▄▀▄ ▀ ▀ ▀ MUISC
——-\____/▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

“life is a game that one plays according to the rules…”

“Trying to think again about something forward and try to follow in their footsteps so happy in dealing with today and begin to find what they want,”

butterfly

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skull

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